Summer Contest

Posted by on Jul 9, 2014 in From My Perspective | 0 comments

Sharing a computer with 3 kids under the age of 12 is frustrating.  It’s almost always unavailable, misplaced or abandoned with a dead battery.

But sometimes…

Sharing a computer with 3 kids under the age of 12 is delightful.  Like today when I stumbled upon this open Word Document.

May it bring you as much joy as it did me.

Summer Contest

Read ten books

Make at least one thing out of rainbow loom

Swim ten times

Do one dangerous thing

Have one party

Play with you friends or neighbors

Do ten nice things

Go on a trip

Have a scavenger hunt

Get itchy

Make a giant sand castle

Find twenty shells

Fish

Plant some plants in a garden

Win a game of packman

Make Hero-Brian come on mineccraft (start a new world)

Search up an animal you have not learned about, do an essay about it.

Drink five glasses of coffee

Go swimming with glasses on

Blow up twenty balloons

*Author unknown, although my 9 year-old Taylor does wear glasses…

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The Elephant in the Room

Posted by on Jun 16, 2014 in From My Perspective | 0 comments

I had a crazy dream this morning.  One of those dreams you have while trying to force  yourself back to sleep after waking too early.  It was so vivid, and so real.

I dreamt I was on a bus loaded with people I knew.  Also on that bus was an elephant.  Yes…an elephant.  He was standing in the aisle for easy transportation.  The purpose of our trip was to get that elephant where he needed to go.

Many people were scared of the elephant, including myself.  But my children were on the bus with me, so I took it upon myself to keep them safe.

I took a seat right on top of the elephant.  I scratched his back and rubbed his sides.  I wanted to keep that elephant calm and happy.  Because a disruptive elephant is a dangerous elephant.  Especially on a bus.

After a while, I started to trust the elephant.  He no longer felt like a threat.  He was quiet and content, and the trip was smooth.

I decided to get off him and sit comfortably in the back seat.

At first the elephant didn’t seem to notice.  I engaged in conversation with other passengers on the bus.  Suddenly I felt the elephant’s trunk on my hand.  He had turned his head to get my attention.  I patted his trunk with a good sense of humor and looked the other way.

The elephant did not like this.  He grabbed my hand with his teeth this time.  I became terrified of the enormous beast.  He was agitated and I feared for our safety.  I backed further into my seat, scared to go near him.

So instead, the elephant came to me.  He backed up and sat right down on me.

I felt my back break, but somehow managed to stay alive as I found an air hole in the seat.  It was then I realized that the elephant wasn’t trying to bite me, he just missed my company.  Since I wouldn’t sit on his back, he decided to sit on mine.  The elephant was not mean or malicious.  He only wanted to be noticed, but didn’t understand the power of his own presence.

I woke up reminded of a very good lesson:

If you don’t address the scary elephant in the room, you might just be crushed by it.

 

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It’s a Sign…with wine.

Posted by on May 29, 2014 in From My Perspective, Musings from the Mayhem, Twin Turbulence, Twins | 0 comments

(Thanks to Nicole Barczak Photography for this family photo.)

Last week Craig and I went on vacation.  We were in need of some deep breaths – the kind that make you feel human as opposed to the ones that keep you from losing your mind.

Upon arrival, I sat on the elegant terrace with a glass of white wine.  I took a sip of liberation.  I laid my head against the quaint rocking chair and closed my eyes.  The moment was orgasmic.  Full of pleasure, excitement, and most of all release.

I opened my eyes feeling lighter.  For four days I would not be bothered with the constant needs of my kids.  For four days I could live according to my own agenda.  For four days I was free.  I really liked that story.

I started to admire the view.  The beautiful green grass.  The flowers in bloom.  The creative design of the landscape.  The warm rays of the sun on my pale Michigan skin.  Then I noticed a sign in front of me:

Multiply

I began to read the sign and connected immediately.  As a mother of multiples, my natural response to the word MULTIPLY was automatic.

I read the definiton of the verb:

increase or cause to increase greatly in number of quantity

I nodded my head in agreement.  When our identical twin daughters were born, we went from a family of three to a family of five inside of just two short minutes.  That felt like an enormous increase of quantity.  And chaos.  And confusion.  And cluster.  And CRAZY.

I took another sip gulp of my wine.  That memory alone required it.

Then I continued to read the synonyms:

increase, grow, become more numerous, accumulate, proliferate, mount up

At first this list was perfectly suitable.  But then it was confusing.  Then?  Downright hilarious!

Let me attempt to explain.

I was connected to, invested in and intrigued by this sign.  So I analyzed every single word and how it was used.

I was fine all the way through accumulate.  But signals started blaring at proliferate.

I needed to know more about this word.  I’d heard it before, but never used it myself.  What exactly did it mean?

Proliferate.  I repeated it a few times in my head.  Funny, I thought, it kind of reminded me of prophylactic.  Which led me straight to a condom.  You obviously see the natural gutter-mind progression here.

I squinted my eyes and pursed my lips in eager anticipation of the punchline I knew I’d find.

Mount up was all it took.  That phrase had nothing to do with numbers.  Trust me.

And lastly the example.  In red!  As if it’s a warning:

“Let’s multiply.”  

Are you KIDDING me?  What kind of a freak came up with this definition?!  Was Freud related to Webster?!

I laughed.  Out loud.  By myself.  (Craig was getting me another glass of wine.)  It was a deep belly kind of a laugh.  The scene in my head was just too funny.

Funny stuff

“Oh Craig!  Come on!  Forget the prophylactic!  Mount up, baby!  Let’s multiply!!!

Had this been the scenario a decade ago, he would have run.  Very fast and very far.  And a decade ago this sign would have meant nothing to me.

But now?  Now it was pure filthy entertainment!

Just like our twins.

Twin Fun

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