Stuck in a Moment

Posted by on Jan 28, 2014 in From My Perspective, Musings from the Mayhem, Raising Great Kids, Twins | 2 comments

I’m a stay at home mom.  That’s the job I picked eleven years ago.

I love being around my kids.  Even when they drive me  crazy.  Well – maybe not completely when they drive me crazy.  But it takes a lot to get me there, and I’m pretty quick to recover.

However for the past 5+ weeks my job has been more challenging than usual.  Winter vacation collided with the Polar Vortex.  As a result, Snowmageddon and dangerously cold weather conditions have led to several school cancellations.  Then factor in the stomach flu that has been present for the last two weeks.

* In 40 days, I have had 5 that were both kid and puke free. *

I am not complaining.  It’s my job.  But I am calculating because as I said before – it’s been extra challenging.

Taylor was the one with the pukes yesterday.  All over my bed.  All over the floor…All over.

Why at 9 she doesn’t yet make it to the bathroom, I will never know.  But neither did her identical twin sister the previous week, so at least there’s that?

The moral of the story is this:  I am tired.  My legs are hairy.  I haven’t gotten in a good workout since Saturday.  My shoulders are tense.  And all three kids are home again today.

Taylor is still sick on the couch with bed head like I’ve never seen before.  However she’s starting to feel just well enough to argue with me about having to take a shower.  And Sydney is in a cooking and crafting kind of a mood. (sigh)

“Please, Sydney.  No messes today, okay?” I pleaded with her earlier.

“Okay, Momma.  I’ll try my best.”  I appreciated her honesty.

So when I walked through the kitchen and saw the table full of crumbs and other leftover debris from breakfast, I couldn’t help but snicker at her trail.

“Hey!  Who made this mess?” I shouted, pretending to be frustrated.  I looked right at Sydney.  She sensed the playfulness in my tone.

“It wasn’t me!” she claimed her innocence, doing her best to hide an ornery grin.

“Oh really?” I sneered with sarcasm.  “Then who was it?”

“It was Taylor.  You know we look just alike, don’t you?” she giggled with confidence.

I giggled too.  She knew she had me right where she wanted me.  Stuck in a moment of gratitude.  Thankful for this extra day with them, yet again.  Because if they were in school, I might have missed this “first” I’ve been anticipating for the last 9 years:

The first time our twins lie about their identity to avoid trouble.

“Well, you got me there,” I conceded, even though I knew the truth.  She knew I knew the truth, but we both opted not to mention it.  She walked off smiling while I cleaned up the mess and marveled at my little girl’s quick wit.

It was a moment.  I made a mental note not to forget it.

Then I turned around.  And saw this:

Anyone need a bow?  Bring your money.

Anyone need a bow? Bring your money.

I knew the craft store was open…And it was going to cost me.

Onward.

 

 

 

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Why you shouldn’t be afraid to kick a good friend in the ass

Posted by on Jan 19, 2014 in From My Perspective | 0 comments

My friend Cass is anxious.  She’s living in between.  In between houses.  In between boxes.  In between workout plans.  In between schedules.  In between single and restless and married and settled.

Cass is great – fun, spunky, caring, adventurous, creative, driven, dependable and motivated. But in between is not her style.  Cass likes craves structure.  She’s a list-maker who revels in checking off the boxes.  She plans about planning and squeals (I mean it – she really squeals) when her latest and greatest personal organizer arrives in the mail. To feel at peace, Cass needs order and control over what comes next.

After reading in her blog yesterday that she was struggling, I had two choices:

1.) Pat her on the back and offer her reassurance that everything will work out in good time.  Enable her misery by telling her it just takes patience, faith…yadda, yadda, yadda.

OR

2.) Kick her ass, and tell her to get up off the couch and stop feeling sorry for herself.

Well…anyone that knows me knows that “yadda, yadda, yadda” is not my style.  And Cass knows me.  She edited and published my very personal memoir for crying out loud. She would have seen right through the fluff had I gone with option number 1.

So, I got brave.  I decided to give her the medicine I would have appreciated most if I was stuck in between.  She’s got a great sense of humor, so I trusted she would know just what do with my advice.

This was her blog:

Why you should be afraid to wear circle scarfs

 by 3 Comments

I will get to the place where you understand the blog title later.

***

We’re in a middle space. We have two houses – we obviously just need one.  But going from two houses to one house can happen in a lot of different ways.

The current plan: We’ve found a great house, we have an accepted offer, but in order for the deal to go through my house has to sell.  And by January 30th.  So, you know – that’s just the most anxiety inducing thing because we have no ability to impact outside of what we’ve already done.  While my house is being sold we’re living out of casa George – George’s house is fantastic with the exception that 80% of our stuff isn’t here and I miss my bed and garbage disposal and plates and a million other little things that I could in theory just bring over here…but then I’d have to move them again at some point in the future.  And that just seems so unnecessary – packing up a spatula set saying “Didn’t I just move this. For the love of Williams Sonoma!”

We have a plan b though…the issue with the plan b is that it’s changing every other day – we’ll stay here for a year, we’ll stay here for a month, we’ll stay here for forever, we’ll find another house, we’ll update our offer.  All of these things leave me feeling unsettled.

***

Because of this stuff being unsettled I feel like I should just pause on other things.  Mostly like eating clean and working out.  Do I realize that they’re unrelated? Oh yeah, I sure do.  But I can’t seem to make forward progress on anything when this house thing feels so up in the air.

The place that I need to get to is the realization that everything is always going to remain in some level of flux – there will always be something in the way of life and prioritizing health and wellness.  I just need to decide that no matter the hurdle it’s worth getting over it to the end goal.

I’m not there yet.

***

Holly wears bandanas – and I’ll be honest she looks like the cool kid at school when she has one on.  It’s like she’s naked without it and she sulk a little bit.  Put on a clean bandana and she’s got the A-team jersey on and she’s ready for coach to put her in the game.

Lex loves this.  And because she thinks it’s fun and Mandy must feel left out Lexi really likes it when Mandy wears one too.  The thing is that Mandy looks like a retired rough ranch hand cowgirl in her bandana.  She saunters into the room and all I can think is “howdy partna”.

Sometimes I feel so much like Mandy it’s scary.  For her it’s a bandana, for me it’s the circle scarf.  Is no one afraid it’s going to get caught on something and you’re going to die?  Okay, just me.

***

We had a little dinner party last night. It was great fun and my abs hurt from laughing.  That’s how you know you’re around the right people.

This was my response:

Cass,

I have learned that whenever I feel the most out of control, that’s the PERFECT time to start a manageable workout plan. Because you CAN control 25-30 minutes a day. That half hour devoted to YOURSELF changes your whole outlook on the rest of the chaos that surrounds you. Getting fit is empowering. Liberating. Mind saving.

You feel good about you at the most basic level – and no one can take that away from you. And when your jeans start to compliment you, rather than suffocate you, the automatic desire to fuel your body instead of food it becomes a welcome addition to more that you CAN control.

Then you start feeling like a great mom for teaching Lex that working out and eating well isn’t a bother, but rather a blessing. You take pride in knowing that some day Lex will view exercise as a given part of her maintenance routine, just like brushing her teeth.

Then – a month or two down the road – THEN you’ll have a whole different outlook on that circle scarf. Before you know it, you’ll start feeling frisky. Cuz dammit, you ROCKED those skinny jeans. And you’ll love prancing in front of the mirror in your bra and underwear. All of a sudden, a whole plethora of fun and exciting options will pop into your mind about different ways to make use of that circle scarf. None of which involve you having to leave the safety of your own home, much less your bedroom.

Get up. Do the work. Take the power back. You’ll be so glad you did.

And let’s face it…So will George. ;)

This morning I checked my email.  There was one from a Mrs. Cass McRory.

It read:

I stopped at my house last night and picked up my DVD’s.  Thanks for inspiring me.  Now go write this in a blog post – it’s brilliant.

So here I am.  Writing this story in a blog post.  Because Cass knew I’d know just what to do with her reciprocal kick in the ass.

I’ve been quiet for way too long.  And this post has been empowering.  Liberating.  Mind saving.

Because of Cass –  I got up.  I did the work.  I took the power back.  And I’m so glad I did.

Thank you for the push, my friend.  It’s how we do.

 

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