The twins will be in third grade this year. It is the Principal’s policy that twins be split when enrollment is high enough to merit two grades per class level. I have yet to see this policy, nor do I necessarily agree with it based on principle – but that’s a story for another day.
As enrollment numbers grew, it was apparent that the Principal was adamant about the split. It would have taken a hell of a battle, including going above her head to the higher-ups at the school, to have had a chance at changing her decision. As twin parents, we had to decide how to handle the situation:
Should we fight to win the battle of having a say in the emotional well-being of our daughters? We are confident they can split – and even want them to when they are ready to do so – however only one of them is capable of embracing the idea as of right now. In another year, with fair warning and proper preparation, we trust they will both be secure enough in themselves as individuals to approach the split with a positive attitude and an open-mind.
Or should we step down from the pending battle and trust in our parenting to guide them through their toughest emotional transition yet? We have always believed in the power of setting a positive example for our kids to follow. If we can demonstrate an attitude of acceptance instead of an attitude of resistance, perhaps our twin daughters will follow suit easier and earlier than expected.
In making our decision, we considered the message we wanted to send to our twin daughters:
Continuing to fight would send the message that we didn’t believe in their ability to face the world as individuals. That they couldn’t be happy unless they were in the company of each other.
Choosing to concede would send the message to Taylor and Sydney that we believed in each of their abilities to rise and stand as individuals. As young girls. And, eventually, as young women.
Ultimately we chose to swallow our pride as parents so that our twin daughters could develop their own pride as individuals. To model the value in approaching life with an open-mind and a positive attitude. To demonstrate our infinite support as parents who believe their little girls are destined for great things. To empower both of our daughters with the knowledge that they can do anything they set their minds to independently of each other.
We already know they’re rock solid as twins. Now it’s time for Sydney and Taylor to learn how to be rock solid as individuals.
So bring on the split. We’ve got this, Girls.