He Always Knows. Period.

Posted by on Jul 29, 2013 in From My Perspective | 0 comments

Two Sundays ago, Craig and I passed each other in the hallway.  I said something to him in passing.  I don’t remember what it was.  Nor do I remember the intent to deliver my message in a bitchy tone.

I heard him grunt in frustration.

“Uh-oh,” I thought, “What did the kids do now?”

“Kristin?” he addressed me carefully.

“Ya?” I answered, hoping I wasn’t going to have to help fix whatever problem he’d just stumbled upon.

“When are you going to start your period?” he asked.

What?” I asked, completely taken offguard.  What was he talking about?  I had been nice all day.

“I’m just curious – When are you supposed to start your period?” he asked again with reserved patience.

“I don’t know,” I said.  “But not any time soon.  I just finished before we went up north for the 4th.  It  hasn’t been a month yet.”  I quickly did the math in my head, praying I was right.  “Why?” I asked skeptically.

“Ohhhhh, I was just wondering,” he said in the same frustrated grumble as before.

Wait a minute – I was the reason for the grumble??  I didn’t get it.  We hadn’t even fought!  I thought it had been a good day.  My curiosity was killing me, but I chose not to question him further.  If he was asking me when I was going to start my period, I probably wasn’t going to like his answers.

Fast forward to the next morning.  After Craig left for work, I went to the bathroom.  Low and behold, I started my freaking period.

“Damn it!” I said aloud.

Damn it because I hate being on my period.  It’s gross.  A pain in the ass.  No sex for a week.

But most of all?  Damn it because Craig had predicted it!  Damn it because I was going to have to admit he was right.  Damn it because I was a bitch and didn’t even realize it!

Embarrassed, I sent him a text:

photo-22

 

Then I made a commitment to keep better track of my personal dates.  Because if he can predict my cycle even when I’m unaware, imagine how awful it must be for him when I know I’m being a hormonal bitch.

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The Power to Move on…

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in From My Perspective, Raising Great Kids | 0 comments

“Make the choice to move on.”

It’s been a common theme in my parenting lately.

One of the hardest things in life – whether you’re an adult or a kid – is finding yourself stuck with a glass that’s half empty.  Fixating your thoughts on what is wrong instead of what is right.  Dwelling on what brings you sorrow instead of taking comfort in what brings you joy.   Longing for what you don’t have instead of appreciating what you do have.  Focusing on the fear of what the future may bring, instead of reveling in the excitement.  Looking backward instead of forward.

It’s simple really:

Negative thinking feels bad.

Positive thinking feels good.

Both ways of thinking are contagious.

You have the power to make the choice to move on – to exit the negative, and enter the positive.  So take a deep breath and fill that glass up with the good stuff.  You – and those around you – will be glad you did.

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The Evolution of the Great Twin Split: Part I

Posted by on Jul 22, 2013 in From My Perspective, Twin Turbulence, Twins | 3 comments

The twins will be in third grade this year.  It is the Principal’s policy that twins be split when enrollment is high enough to merit two grades per class level.  I have yet to see this policy, nor do I necessarily agree with it based on principle – but that’s a story for another day.

As enrollment numbers grew, it was apparent that the Principal was adamant about the split.  It would have taken a hell of a battle, including going above her head to the higher-ups at the school, to have had a chance at changing her decision.  As twin parents, we had to decide how to handle the situation:

Should we fight to win the battle of having a say in the emotional well-being of our daughters?  We are confident they can split – and even want them to when they are ready to do so – however only one of them is capable of embracing the idea as of right now.  In another year, with fair warning and proper preparation, we trust they will both be secure enough in themselves as individuals to approach the split with a positive attitude and an open-mind.

Or should we step down from the pending battle and trust in our parenting to guide them through their toughest emotional transition yet?  We have always believed in the power of setting a positive example for our kids to follow.  If we can demonstrate an attitude of acceptance instead of an attitude of resistance, perhaps our twin daughters will follow suit easier and earlier than expected.

In making our decision, we considered the message we wanted to send to our twin daughters:

Continuing to fight would send the message that we didn’t believe in their ability to face the world as individuals.  That they couldn’t be happy unless they were in the company of each other.

Choosing to concede would send the message to Taylor and Sydney that we believed in each of their abilities to rise and stand as individuals.  As young girls.  And, eventually, as young women.

Ultimately we chose to swallow our pride as parents so that our twin daughters could develop their own pride as individuals.  To model the value in approaching life with an open-mind and a positive attitude.  To demonstrate our infinite support as parents who believe their little girls are destined for great things.  To empower both of our daughters with the knowledge that they can do anything they set their minds to independently of each other.

We already know they’re rock solid as twins.  Now it’s time for Sydney and Taylor to learn how to be rock solid as individuals.

So bring on the split.  We’ve got this, Girls.

 

Note: To read The Evolution of the Great Twin Split: Part II, click here.

 To read The Evolution of the Great Twin Split: Part III, click here.

 

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Twin Mode? Nah…Twin Power.

Posted by on Jul 16, 2013 in From My Perspective, Musings from the Mayhem, Twin Turbulence, Twins | 0 comments

I love having identical twins.

I published a memoir not too long ago entitled Twin Turbulence: What Happened when Twins Happened.  If you’ve read it, you might think I’m contradicting myself.  It focuses on the insane challenges our twins presented during infancy and toddlerhood.  Those years were not easy HARD nearly impossible.

Now our twin daughters are almost 9, and utterly delightful.  Sure they still drive us crazy at times, but nothing like when they were terribly 2.  That year of miserable mayhem continues to serve as a wonderful frame of reference as no other phase of parenting has yet to compete.  Bring on 16 squared, I say to the skeptics: It will not be as hard as 2 x 2.  I know it.

One of the reasons we co-exist so well now is that Craig and I have discovered, accepted and surrendered to the power of the girls’ twinship.  We no longer fight them when they are in “Twin Mode” – It’s not a battle we can win.  Twin Mode is when they are connected. In sync.  Most content in their own little world.  Twin Mode is impenetrable.

Twin Mode occurs several times a day, but most consistently at bedtime.  Before we respected the power of Twin Mode, we used to fight them for hours to go to sleep.  We treated Twin Mode as our enemy then – as though it was merely a bad habit that could be changed.  We waged a stubborn parental war without ever having a chance at victory.

Twin Mode can not be put to rest by an outside force.  Twin Mode only goes away when the twins agree to make a joint exit.

This morning marked the first day of volleyball camp (ever) for Sydney and Taylor.  They were beyond excited.  In theory, they should have gone to sleep last night at a reasonable hour so they’d be well rested.  We would have demanded it from their 10 year-old singleton brother, Gabriel.

As we were tucking them in, though, we knew Twin Mode had already been initiated.  They went through the motions of accepting our kisses, hugs and tuck-tuck-tucks, but there was no reciprocation of affection. No requests for late-night conversation.  No stall tactics for just one more kiss, a glass of water, a bedtime story, etc.

Nope.  They agreed to go to bed.  That’s how we knew to walk out without even bothering to turn off the lights.  That’s why we agreed to let them run downstairs to grab a snack of yogurt.  Because when they’re in Twin Mode, the only true defense is a sensible offense.

“Good night girls.  I love you,” I said, as they both sat on Taylor’s bed facing each other as they ate their yogurt.  “Don’t forget you have volleyball in the morning,” I offered a fair reminder.

“Okay!  Night Momma!” they said in unison without ever glancing my way.  I shook my head and chuckled.

Craig and I could hear them chatting as we watched tv.

“Forces of nature,” he muttered in disgust.

“Yup,” I agreed, knowing unequivocally he was referring to our twin daughters.

I have no idea what time they finally went to sleep.  When I woke them, they were snuggled together in Taylor’s twin bed – a sight that never fails to melt my heart.

“Wake up little loves,” I whispered.  “Its time to get up for volleyball!”

They smiled, stretched and opened their eyes.  They rolled out of bed with ease and charged forward.  Their shared excitement for volleyball was obvious during breakfast.  I had to remind them to stop talking long enough to eat on several occasions as Twin Mode had already begun.

“What time did you go to bed last night, girls?”  I asked, amazed that I was already exhausted by their high level of energy.

“I don’t know,” one of them said.

“How are you not tired?!” I had to know.

They looked at each other and giggled.

“Twin Power!”  Taylor retorted in a cocky sing-song tone.

“Oh yeah!”  Sydney cheered, as they raised hands to share in a perfectly timed, victorious hi-5.

I shook my head and laughed.  Twin Power.  Even their title for their shared phenomenon was stronger than ours.  Go figure.

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