Time for a little decompression. The kids are downstairs playing video games with their Daddy. I can hear how much fun they’re having from here. I should go down and tell the girls it’s time for Hooked on Phonics. I should. But I’m not going to. I’m going to save that for tomorrow night.
Tonight, I’m going to enjoy the fire and the quiet family room. I’m going to listen to myself think, which is a luxury when everyone else is home. It’s been a long couple of days. Taylor has had the flu. And, unlike her 7 year-old brother, she has yet to master the art of making it to the toilet when she feels the need to vomit. So, therefore, I’ve spent a lot of time on my hands and knees scrubbing and sanitizing the carpet, the bathroom, the couch, and our bed. This is definitely not a perk of motherhood.
The sun was beaming today and it was a warm 40 degrees, which of course is a rarity these days in Michigan, and I could not go out and play. Instead I was cooped up with a sick little girl who wanted to paint fingernails, play Candyland, paint with glitter-glue, and watch cartoons. And while we had a great day, I could not help but wish we could be having fun together outside!
On several occasions, because I knew it was above freezing, I found myself chanting, “Melt, melt, melt!!” to the snow. I need Spring. I need consistent sunshine. I need fresh air that doesn’t hurt. I need to go outside and play! I need rejuvenated.
I feel like a kid who has had her recess taken away. I look at my screened-in paradise of a porch and long to be out there, enjoying the sounds of nature. I can almost smell the freshness of the air as it blows my hair across my face. I love everything about Spring. I love the reassurance of knowing that Summer and Fall are still to follow. I love the fresh buds on the trees, the new daffodils and tulips that magically pop from the ground to say hello, the tremendous high I get the first time I drive with the windows down, the smell of the grass being cut for the first time…oh, that’s my favorite.
It’s coming…I know this. There are signs everywhere. Like tonight when I pulled into our drive-way at 6:15 and the sun was just starting to set. And today, when out of the blue, Taylor wished we could go on a bike-ride because she, too, can sense Spring’s nearness. At pick-up, I saw several parents in sweatshirts instead of coats, willing it along. I see the girls’ Easter sundresses hanging in their closets and choose to ignore the little matching sweaters that we bought for “just in case…”
And even though these harbingers of Spring should be comforting, they instead make me anxious. I have to work not to be irritable. I have to take more deep breaths than usual. I have to make it one more month. The amazing part is that March never gets any easier. It is this hard each and every year. You would think I would get used to it, but I don’t. It gets me every time.
Winter is always fun, but it is a month too long. The kids and I have already officially wished for no more snow. We are over it. We’ll save the hot chocolate for next December and be fine with it. Go away snow and let the sun come out to play! We promise to make good use of it!!